


Ulterior Motives

by IlluminateMe



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, Flirting, Hydra (Marvel), Slow Burn, Undercover AU, eventual blackhill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25025332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IlluminateMe/pseuds/IlluminateMe
Summary: Maria is a new professor in the Science and Engineering Department at New York University and Natasha is one of her students. There’s an instant spark between them, but they both happen to be undercover.
Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 21
Kudos: 90





	1. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story starts out kind of slow to set the stage since there were a bunch of important details I needed to add, so blackhill will technically begin in the next chapter!

**March 2017 [Prologue]**

Donnie Gill hadn’t been this happy since he replicated the Atmospheric Moisture Freezing Device, first created by Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons. 

He had gained some sort of strange power from it, one where he could freeze anything he wanted to upon touch. His best (and only) friend, Seth Dormer, learned this the hard way, becoming a victim of the icy blast when he startled Donnie, who thought Seth was an intruder. 

Donnie’s grade twelve history class was on an end-of-the-year trip to Germany, a trip that was never supposed to happen due to budget cuts in Newark – he wouldn’t have been able to afford it anyways. Everything changed when an anonymous sponsor from across the river paid for all 15 students. 

“Here we have a site where many weapons were made during World War Two,” the tour guide said. “This factory burned down from an explosion, however we were able to fence off the area as a tourist attraction, although it hasn’t been a very popular. Feel free to explore the perimeter.”

Donnie pulled Seth away from the group. “Dude, look over there,” he hissed. 

“You think the gate is unlocked?” 

“Let’s check it out.”

Donnie and Seth jogged to the gate, knowing they had little time before this part of the tour was over. 

“The gate is stuck,” Seth said. 

“Just kick the dirt away under it,” Donnie replied. “Ow, shit, move that rock.”

Seth tossed the slab of bedrock to the side and managed to budge the gate open.

“Whoa, what’s this?” Donnie said, reaching his hand into the shallow hole he created. 

Seth shrugged. “Looks like an old tampon to me.”

Donnie cleaned the tube with his shirt, revealing a blue substance inside. He couldn’t believe he actually found it. 

“Fuck, it looks like blue raspberry Gatorade or something. Whatever, I’ll take it back to Jersey and then maybe we can figure out what it is.” Donnie felt bad about lying to his best friend, but he knew some secrets weren’t meant to be shared.

\----------------------------------------

**May 2017**

**[Location: SHIELD Headquarters, New York City]**

“I need to know the names and current locations of everyone who visited the site in the past two months,” Coulson told the German tour company through the phone. 

“Sir, as I told you, SHIELD or not, we are not allowed to disclose that information.”

“We have a good reason to assume something terrible will happen otherwise,” Coulson warned. “SHIELD needs to prevent such an occurrence. Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You know how to reach me.” He hung up the phone. 

Maria looked up from her computer on the other side of the room. “Phil, are you sure that would even lead anywhere?”

Coulson rubbed his temples. “Yes. When we were called to inspect a blue glow in the sand, I think you and I both know what that means.”

“Someone out there has the last tube of Dr. Erskine’s super soldier serum.”

\---------------------------------------- 

Coulson woke up to a new message from an unidentified sender. 

`As you requested.`

He opened the file and grinned. Catching this person would be too easy. 

“Maria, I got the list,” Coulson said, waltzing into her office. “18 people, all from Newark Secondary. I’ll get Skye to run checks on them.”

“Why didn’t she just hack into the tour company’s database?”

“She would’ve been disappointed. They keep their records on paper.”

Maria shook her head. “But why, it’s the 21st century.”

“It’s probably a German thing.”

\---------------------------------------- 

“Find anything, Skye?” Coulson asked.

Skye tapped the yellow folder icon on her computer, revealing the names and faces of all the students and staff on the trip. Coulson scanned the images, looking for anything familiar. 

It turned out that SHIELD had no prior information about any of the suspects and couldn’t jump to any conclusions based on this.

Skye ran her hand through her hair. “That’s all I could get. The three adults are history teachers at the school and all the students are headed off to university in the fall. Nothing seems out of the ordinary.” 

“I’m not giving up on this, I know one of them has it,” Coulson said. 

Just then, Fitz and Simmons walked into the room. 

“Why is there a picture of Donnie on the screen?” Fitz frowned. 

Skye pointed to a headshot of a boy with short brown hair and blue eyes. “Who? This kid?”

“H-he’s the one who came to me months ago, for help recreating the freezing machine,” Fitz explained. “I wasn’t part of SHIELD at the time.”

Coulson put his hands in his pockets and addressed his team. “We’ve got our guy. Skye, you know what to do.”

\---------------------------------------- 

Over the next week, SHIELD learned that Donnie Gill had been accepted to the Computer Science program at New York University on a full scholarship. 

“Why can’t we just confront him?” Skye asked at the next team meeting. 

“It’s not that simple, we need a plan,” Coulson sighed. “We need that serum to prevent Donnie from doing anything destructive. It’s likely that he doesn’t know what it is, so it’s probably collecting dust in his room. But it’s in _his_ possession.”

Melinda May nodded. “We want to protect him and make sure the serum doesn’t end up in the wrong hands. Right now, we don’t know who else is watching this kid.”

“Exactly,” Coulson agreed. “We need to gain his trust gradually. Donnie is wicked smart and extremely dangerous. He’d be much easier to confront if he were only one of those things.”

\---------------------------------------- 

“And you want _me_ to go undercover?” Maria said quizzically. 

“This will work,” Coulson said, sliding her a copy of his plan. “I got you an interview with the NYU Science and Tech Department next week. The opening they have right now is for a limited term faculty member, who would be teaching a first-year computer science course.”

“This is crazy.”

“I know. But we need to do it.”

Maria crossed her arms. “You’re lucky I’ve studied computer science. What if I don’t get the position?”

“You will. I’ll be in your ear the whole time.”

“Alright, get out of my office, I need to prepare.”

\---------------------------------------- 

Maria checked her appearance one last time before stepping off the elevator and entering the Science and Technology floor. It was a spacious area that seemed to be renovated recently. The large glass windows allowed a gorgeous view of Washington Square Park and Maria let out a “hm” in approval. 

Her heels clicked along the freshly polished floor as she walked to the wall with the pictures of all the faculty members. 

“Really, all white men? And two women?” Maria said to herself.

As if someone heard her, the elevator doors opened, and two men emerged. “Maria Hill, great to meet you. I’m Will Koenig, chair of the department, and this is Professor Leo Samson.”

Maria shook their hands before following them to a conference room. 

“Take a seat Maria,” Will said. “We expect this interview to last up to two hours. That okay with you?”

“Two hours?” Phil yelled into her ear. 

Maria nearly lost her composure. “Of course, we’ll take as much time as necessary.”

“Great. As you know, this is a contract position from September to December with the possibility of extension,” Leo began. “In particular, we’re looking for someone to teach our first year Basic Algorithms course. In the past, lecturers have had varying success with it as it deals with concepts that are quite challenging for students. So first I’d like to ask, is this something you are comfortable with?”

**1 hour and 30 minutes later**

“Thanks for coming in, Maria,” Will said. “I’ll be in touch soon.”

“Thank you, Professor Koenig and Professor Samson, it was great talking with you,” Maria smiled. “I look forward to hearing from you.”

\---------------------------------------- 

**[Location: HYDRA Base, Swiss Alps]**

Natasha leaned against the balcony railing, taking in the fresh mountain air. She was sick of the constant squabbling between John Garrett and the rest of the team. Sometimes she would imagine what it would be like to live a “normal” life – go to college in the United States, travel the world, and even start a family. HYDRA was all Natasha had ever known, and she knew leaving would have serious consequences. 

Garrett had taken the lead on the recently revived Centipede Project, becoming angrier and more irritable as the months went by without finding the last known tube of super soldier serum.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Jesus, Ward, could you be any louder?” Natasha said sarcastically. “So are Brock and Jasper back from Germany yet?”

“Yeah, just got back. Garrett’s giving them an earful now. They ransacked the whole site and found absolutely nothing – just like the last time.”

“Shit. Are they looking in the right places?”

“I’m 100% sure it would’ve been in the old factory,” Ward said.

Natasha gazed into the distance. “Then it’s been found already.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

“SHIELD.”

\---------------------------------------- 

Garrett was furious. 

“Dr. Zola, why is it taking so fucking long to get into their files.”

“I’m almost in, sir,” Dr. Zola said nervously, wiping the sweat from his forehead. 

The room went quiet for the next ten minutes as Dr. Zola attempted to download any information SHIELD had on the serum. 

“I-I found something.”

Ward took the computer and skimmed the document. “SHIELD didn’t take it. They’re looking for the guy who did. Someone named Donnie Gill from Newark, New Jersey. He’ll be at NYU in the fall, computer science.”

“What else does it say?” barked Garrett. 

“Apparently he can turn anything to ice and kill people if he does it to them.”

“Fuck.” Garrett grabbed the laptop and read over the file himself. “We need that serum and we need that boy.”

“Were you thinking we go undercover?” Ward asked. 

Garrett walked to the kitchen and poured a glass of Scotch. “Exactly. Romanoff, how you feel about going to school?”

\---------------------------------------- 

Natasha’s mission seemed simple. If everything worked out, it would be the easiest mission she’d ever done. And she wasn’t expected to kill Donnie, which was a bonus. 

“You’re lucky you get to go,” Ward told her one night at dinner when it was just the two of them. 

Natasha shrugged. “I have more patience. This mission could potentially last four months, and I don’t know if you could handle that.”

Ward punched her lightly. “Hey, not true.”

“Plus, I actually have to study if I want to know what I’m talking about. If I want to get close with Donnie, I need to be on the same level as him intellectually.”

“Okay so what’s the story?”

“I’m a first-year computer science student who enrolled in the program after taking a gap year and switching majors. I lived in Philadelphia all my life until moving to New York.”

“Switched to computer science from what?”

“International relations,” Natasha replied without missing a beat.

Ward raised his brow. “Where do you live?”

“Corner of Bowery and East Houston.”

“Any pets?”

“Like cats, don’t have any.”

“Parents?”

“Alive, stayed in Philadelphia. Is the interrogation over?”

“Just making sure your story is set straight. I know you’ll get him before SHIELD does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Donnie Gill is from Agents of Shield season 1  
> Inspiration from Mr. and Mrs. Smith and 22 Jump Street  
> I wrote the whole story in like 2 days (5 chapters or so) and updates will be pretty frequent  
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Two

**September 2017**

Maria rarely got stressed, however today was a day she was _extremely_ stressed. She looked at her watch for the twentieth time, dreading her first university lecture. The department had given her the class list a week before courses began, and sure enough, “Gill, Donald” was there, the 95th name on the list of 400. 

Technically, Maria wasn’t even a _professor_ because she didn’t have a PhD. Yet here she was, sitting in her new office, minutes away from delivering her first lecture at the 29th best university in the world. To _400_ people.

She looked up from the class list to see Will standing in the doorway. 

“What time is your first class?” 

Maria glanced at her watch again. “In fifteen minutes, at 11.”

“Everything will be fine,” Will assured her. “We hired you for a reason. And I know you have a large class, but don’t be intimidated. They’re just kids.”

“Thanks Will,” Maria said, packing her bag. “I’ll see you after my class.” 

\----------------------------------------

Donnie and Seth arrived at the lecture hall ten minutes before class started and waited outside the door. There were at least 100 students already in the line, most of them listening to music or fidgeting anxiously about their first day of university.

“You think this class is going to be hard?” Seth wondered. 

“Probably not for us. Might be for the other students. Algorithms are pretty simple to understand,” Donnie said. 

“Hey, excuse me,” a tall brown hair boy interrupted. “Is this CS200?” 

“Yeah,” Donnie said. “You in first year too?”

“Nah, third year. This is an elective for me. I’m Cooper by the way.”

“Cool, I’m Donnie and this is Seth. Have you had Maria Hill for any class before?”

“Nope, never heard of her. Hope she’s hot, though.” Cooper popped a piece of bubble gum in his mouth. 

“You know if there’s any hot girls in this program?” Seth asked.

“In computer science? Hah, it’s mostly guys,” Cooper laughed. “But listen, there’s a party next Friday at the frat house on Norfolk Street if you want to see some hot girls. Tell the guy at the door Cooper sent you.”

\----------------------------------------

Maria arrived at the lecture room at exactly 11 am but realized classes didn’t officially start until ten past the hour. Based on the sea of students still entering the room, she figured it would be better to wait until everyone had found a seat. 

She found an empty corner by the end of the hallway and made a call.

“Hey Rogers. I may need another set of eyes here for next week’s lecture.”

“Are there that many students?”

“Nearly 400.” 

“Damn. Okay, I’ll see if I can send Wanda and Peter.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, and Hill? HYDRA may have an agent somewhere in the crowd. Be careful.”

Maria hung up and sighed. _Shit._

She pushed open the large wooden doors and scanned the room, but no one immediately stood out. The students suddenly became silent, not knowing what to expect on their first day from their new professor. 

Maria hung her blazer on the back of a chair on the stage and turned the projector on. She put her USB in the slot and opened the syllabus. 

“Hi everyone, I’m Professor Maria Hill and I’ll be your instructor for Basic Algorithms this fall semester. Before we get into the details of the course, a bit about me. I have my bachelor’s in computer science from UPenn and master’s from University of California, Berkeley. Before taking on this position, I worked for a governmental organization.” 

Maria paused, realizing how ridiculous this sounded in her head. She saw the looks of awe on many of the students faces and continued, knowing they thought all this was true. 

“I’m going to go through the syllabus now, so please pay attention to the screen. My email is listed there and it may take me up to two business days to reply, so please check the syllabus or ask a friend before contacting me.”

Maria scrolled to the next page and used this brief time to see if she could find Donnie. She spotted him in the middle row writing in his notebook before looking up at the screen. 

“Alright, this is the breakdown of the course. Individual projects, beginning week three, will be worth 35%, midterm is 15%, final is 20%, quizzes are 20%, and in class assignments are 10%. Any questions?”

A student in the back row raised their hand. 

“What’s the question,” Maria said, pointing to him.

“Will the midterm and final be multiple choice?” 

Maria heard a few laughs from the crowd. 

“Midterm yes, as for the final I haven’t decided.” 

“Thanks Professor.”

Maria smiled. “Okay, today there will not be an official lecture but I would like you all to go over the syllabus again in your own time and complete the week one reading on the course website by next Tuesday. Speaking of the course website, please open it and go the quiz posted. It will not count toward your grade. I just want to see where everyone’s at.”

Maria set a timer for thirty minutes. “I forgot to mention, after you submit it, you can go. If you didn’t bring a computer, come down to the front and I’ll give you a paper copy.”

She gave five students a paper copy before turning off the projector and taking a seat in the chair. It was Coulson’s idea to have a quiz on the first day and hope that Donnie got one of the top scores. This way, it would be easier for Maria to approach him about his intelligence and potentially bond with him over computer science. 

Donnie wasn’t the first to leave, but it didn’t take him long to finish. He shut his laptop and turned to Seth. “I’ll see you later,” he whispered before leaving the room. 

There were five minutes left and at least 30 students still writing. Maria looked up from her phone and noticed an attractive redhead in the back row. 

_University Rule 1: Romantic professor-student relationships are strictly prohibited._

\----------------------------------------

Natasha submitted her quiz and caught the professor seemingly staring at her before looking away. Natasha blushed and went down to introduce herself.

“Hi Professor Hill,” Natasha said, shaking Maria’s hand. “I’m Natasha Romanoff, first year comp sci student.”

“Nice to meet you. Find the course interesting so far?” 

“Yeah definitely, I find this stuff really cool,” Natasha said. “I just want to confirm, office hours are three to five on Thursday, right?”

“Correct.”

“Thanks so much,” Natasha said as she left.

Maria turned the lights off just after the last student exited the room. She didn’t bother going back to her office, opting to drive back to SHIELD instead. 

“Hey, I’m back!” Maria called. 

“How was your first day?” Coulson asked. 

“Really good actually. I felt like an actual professor.”

“Any news on Donnie?”

Maria shook her head. “Not much. He was sitting with a friend, I think. Other than that, seems like a good student. I’ll check the quiz results tonight.”

\----------------------------------------

As a classmate of Donnie’s, Natasha realized it would be easy to get to know him. During their first week of classes, Natasha noticed he only ever talked to one person. In Programming class, she decided to see where his head was at.

“Hey, is this seat taken?” 

“Um, no, you can sit here,” Donnie said hesitantly. Seth grinned and elbowed him lightly. 

“Thanks. I’m Natasha.”

“Donnie. This is my friend, Seth.” 

“You guys are in your first year too, right?”

“Yup.”

_Great, so neither of them talk much…or maybe they’re shy around girls…_

“So…how did you guys do on the practice quiz for Hill’s class?”

“I did okay, but Donnie did really well,” Seth chimed.

“I bet you got perfect,” Natasha joked.

Donnie smiled. “Something like that.”

The gears turned in Natasha’s head. “I know it wasn’t for marks, but I did worse than I thought I would.”

“What section did you mess up on?”

Natasha pretended to think. “It might have been the seven types of algorithms. That wasn’t something I was familiar with.”

Donnie opened the syllabus for Algorithms and turned his laptop to Natasha. “Oh, luckily the syllabus says we’re going to cover that next class. I’m sure Professor Hill would be happy to help you too.”

_Crap._

\----------------------------------------

It was a Saturday morning and Maria sat at the kitchen table looking at a blank screen. She hadn’t made much progress with the mission, as it was proving to be more difficult than SHIELD anticipated due to three factors. 

1\. Donnie wasn’t social and the class size made it nearly impossible for Maria to talk to him one on one  
2\. The fact that she actually had to teach a class  
3\. She found one of her students extremely attractive

“Make that four,” Maria said to herself, remembering what Steve said about a HYDRA agent going after Donnie as well.

Skye walked into the kitchen with two cups of coffee. “Here. It sucks that this mission is so frustrating.”

“Thanks. Yeah, I know. I’m trying to be patient.”

“So…any hot guys in the class?” 

Maria chuckled. “Skye, it’s practically all guys. Come with me to the class and take your pick.”

“Any hot girls?”

“Eh.”

Skye gasped. “That means yes! What does she look like?”

“She’s really pretty. Don’t worry, it’s nothing,” Maria brushed off. “Besides, she’s a student. I mean, she looks older than the others, but a student nonetheless.”

“Maria’s got a crush,” Skye sang.

Coulson came down the stairs. “Maria’s got what?” 

“There’s a hot girl in the class,” Skye told him.

“Coulson, it’s nothing. I’m not pursuing anything.”

“This better not get in the way of the mission,” Coulson said warily. 

“It _won’t._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of the lecture hall looking like this: https://c8.alamy.com/comp/E2H949/university-lecture-hall-or-lecture-theatre-large-empty-college-classroom-E2H949.jpg


	3. Three

**October 2017**

The first time Natasha went to Maria’s office hours was in early October. 

“Hi Professor Hill. Is this a good time?”

“Sure, come in and have a seat.” Maria put her hair up in a bun and cleared a stack of papers off her desk.

Natasha took her laptop out of her bag and opened the first assignment. “I don’t really understand what you’re asking us to do.”

“No problem. A specific part of it or in general?” 

“Uh, in general.”

Maria was confused. She remembered Natasha had gotten a top ten score on the first quiz, yet seemed to be struggling with a simple assignment. 

_At least I get to spend time with her._

“You remember the seven main algorithms I discussed right?”

Natasha nodded. 

“All I’m asking you to do is summarize each one, write a paragraph or so about where they are used, and include an example of their application. I gave the option to either create a visual chart or just type it up in full sentences.”

“That makes sense, thanks for clarifying,” Natasha said. It was a really _easy_ project.

“You’re welcome, anything else I can help you with?”

“I was probably having trouble with it because this is my first time studying computer science,” Natasha explained, sticking to her fabricated story. “I took a gap year after high school then got into the International Relations program here. After two years, I decided it wasn’t for me so I switched.”

“It’s definitely common for people to switch. I’m glad you found a field you enjoy.” Maria offered a small smile. 

“It’s a shame that the gender ratio is so skewed though,” Natasha commented. “I bet there are tons of women out there interested in this who don’t pursue it because it’s dominated by men.”

Their conversation flowed easily, and Maria sensed she could probably loosen her tone with Natasha – especially now that she knew Natasha was an actual adult, not some awkward 17 or 18-year-old. She had to be at least 22.

“It totally is. And not diverse at all, at least here. Have you seen the faculty members? They’re all old white men.”

“Well, it’s good that they brought you in. I know we all appreciate a younger mind,” Natasha said. “What about UPenn and Berkeley? What was it like there?”

_Shit._ Maria hadn’t thought this far in advance, but she knew she couldn’t hesitate.

“Well…both faculties were much more diverse actually. You’d think NYU would be the same.” Maria knew she had to change the subject before Natasha asked about specific names. 

“So, are you considering grad school at all? It seems like you’re very motivated academically.”

Natasha took a sip from her water bottle and nearly choked. She was smart but had barely managed to finish high school in Russia. “It’s kind of early to think about, don’t you think? If I do, I’d like to stay on the east coast.”

“Did you grow up here?”

“Grew up in Philadelphia, then moved to New York for school,” Natasha said effortlessly. 

“Philly’s a cool city, a lot of history there. I’m from Chicago originally but have lived here ever since I finished my master’s. _At least half of that was true._

“I love New York. There’s so much to do. It’s never boring here.”

“Yeah.”

Natasha stood up. “Alright, well I should get going. Thanks again, Professor Hill.”

Maria waited until Natasha left and texted Skye. 

`I might be screwed.`

`We’ll talk about it later. Oooh on your way back can you pick up more coffee? Please`

`Fine`

\----------------------------------------

Natasha flung her jacket and bag on the couch. Pretending to be a student was exhausting enough, but now she couldn’t get Maria out of her head. She had nearly forgotten about Donnie. 

**Ring.**

“Hi Garrett.”

“Romanoff, you’ve got to get a move on with this,” he snapped. “We don’t know where the fuck SHIELD is with it.”

“I know, I’m fucking trying,” she hissed. “It’s kind of hard since the kid is so damn antisocial and could probably freeze me to death in an alley if I piss him off.”

“Just remember time’s ticking.”

“You gave me until December, I’ll get it done.” 

Natasha ended the call and threw her phone on the couch. She opened her fridge to find something for dinner and found it empty. 

“Shit.”

Natasha grabbed her wallet and jogged to the Whole Foods across the street. She put three boxes of pasta and two jars of tomato sauce in her shopping basket before moving to the next aisle to find coffee. Natasha suddenly stopped in the middle of the aisle to look at a sale and that’s when she felt it.

“Fuck, I swear to –" 

“Natasha? I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there, I turned my head for literally a second and then all of a sudden I crashed into someone,” Maria apologized.

Natasha stood up in shock. “Professor Hill, I didn’t mean to swear at you. I honestly didn’t see you there –”

“It’s fine, I can take a bit of swearing, I’m a grown woman. And we’re not at school, you can drop the title.”

“Okay. So do you shop at Whole Foods often?”

“Not much, but its convenient since it’s right beside campus. You?”

“My apartment’s in this neighbourhood.”

“Ah.” Maria took two boxes of coffee off the shelf and looked at Natasha’s basket. “Is that all you’re getting?” 

“Yeah, just pasta, sauce, and coffee. Everything is so expensive here compared to Europe.” Natasha didn’t realize her mistake until Maria spoke again.

“Oh, like when you’ve traveled for vacation?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Natasha recovered. 

“Completely agree. This coffee would probably be ten dollars less there but my friend likes this brand. So, what countries have you been to?”

“Um.” Natasha had never traveled for leisure. “Germany, Slovakia, Czech Republic, Austria, Italy, and Switzerland.” 

_That was true. I’ve killed thirty people in Germany, ten in Slovakia, five in the Czech Republic, six in Austria, one in Italy, and probably twenty in Switzerland._

“Switzerland must have been amazing. I’ve always wanted to go the Alps. I mean, I’m not assuming you’ve been to them or anything.”

Natasha forced a smile. “No, no, I have. It’s quite something, that’s for sure.”

\----------------------------------------

Maria was grading her first assignment when she had an idea.

“Donnie got 100 on the project so clearly he needs something more challenging,” she told Coulson. “I didn’t even grade his either– my teaching assistant did. I’ll see if I can talk to him at the start of class.”

“Right, then you can gradually ease him into the subject of the serum.”

“Maybe he’ll be less likely to lash out at me since I’m the professor?”

“Whatever it takes. Alright, I’m going to call it a night.”

Maria texted Skye, hoping she was still up.

`Come to the conference room`

Skye appeared moments later. “Tell me what happened!”

“We talked for a while in my office which was nice, and I bumped into her at the grocery store half an hour later.”

“Oh my god, cute. Was it awkward?”

“I literally bumped into her, so yeah. It was nice seeing her outside of school.”

“Someone’s got it bad. Well, you only have two and a half months to do something.”

“To do something illegal maybe. I really don’t want to get fired from the only teaching job I’ll ever have.”

“You’re lucky Fury isn’t here,” Skye laughed. “He’d probably kill you.”

“Maybe.”

\----------------------------------------

The fall study week was approaching, and Maria couldn’t have been more excited for a break. She got to the lecture hall early, hoping that Donnie would be late and she could stop him by the door and ask for a word. 

She threw her pen on the ground after noticing he had already taken a seat in the middle row.

“Everything alright, Professor Hill?” 

“Natasha. I’m fine, thanks. It’s a stressful time of the year. You know, midterms and all.”

Maria kept her gaze on Natasha as she found a seat at the back. 

“Alright, hi everyone. I’m going to start today’s class now as we have a lot of material to get through,” Maria announced. “As you all know, the midterm is two weeks from today. It will cover everything we have discussed so far. 60 questions, multiple choice, two hours to complete it. Sound fair?”

Maria saw many nods and heard murmurs of “Yes Professor.” She opened the midterm review document and pointed to week two on the screen. 

“These are ten concepts you need to know.”

Natasha tapped her foot on the floor anxiously. The midterm seemed more difficult than she anticipated. Taking out her phone, Natasha sent an email to Donnie.

`Hi! This is Natasha from Algorithms (red hair). I was wondering if you would want to form a study group? With your friend and anyone else you know from this class!`

_God, pretending to interact like an 18-year-old was nauseating._

Natasha saw Donnie glance to his left before pulling out his phone. 

`Sure, I’m cool with that.`

`Sounds good! Does Thursday at 2 pm work for you? I was thinking the library, third floor?`

`Yeah`

Natasha smirked. _Gotcha._

“There’s one other thing I should mention,” Maria said sternly, causing Natasha to look up from her phone.

“Absolutely _no_ phones allowed at the exam.” Maria caught Natasha’s eye and glared. “Not under any circumstance. Should myself or one of the invigilators catch a student using one, they will receive an automatic zero. Bring a calculator.”

Natasha gulped. 

“Speaking of cellphones,” Maria continued, walking across the stage, “I did make it clear on the syllabus that cellphone usage during class is unacceptable unless you have an emergency. I don’t want to call anyone out, so please put your phones away.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and put her phone in her bag.

A guy sitting beside Natasha leaned in and poked her arm. “Hill’s hot but she’s a dick sometimes, am I right?”

“She’s probably having an off day.” 

\----------------------------------------

Natasha found an empty table in the library and put her coat and bag on the opposite side, saving the seat. Donnie saw her from across the room and headed towards the table. 

“Hi. Seth couldn’t make it,” Donnie said.

Natasha reached over and grabbed her belongings. “No worries, maybe we can meet with him next week.”

“Sure.”

“So…do you think you’re ready for the test?” Natasha said, attempting to start a conversation. 

“For the most part. I need to review the coding lecture but other than that I should be good.”

Natasha took out her laptop and began scrolling through her notes. “That tripped me up as well,” she lied. “I tried to run my code for exercise one and kept getting an error message.” 

“Oh, I think I had trouble with that too. How many lines of code have you written so far?”

“Fifty-five.”

Donnie turned his laptop towards Natasha. “Look at mine, I have sixty-eight. You must be missing something, let me see if I can find it.”

“Ok, thanks.”

Donnie spent the next hour helping Natasha with the exercise until it ran without any error messages. 

“I should’ve caught the mistakes,” Natasha said. 

“It’s all good, happens to everyone. Coding can be really tricky sometimes.”

Natasha nodded in agreement. “How long have you been coding for?”

“Probably since eighth grade. Comes naturally to me.”

“That’s super awesome.” Natasha cringed at her choice of words. “Have you created any apps or websites?”

“Not really. For the past couple years I’ve been into making machines and stuff, so that’s more on the engineering side.”

“I have a lot of friends in engineering,” Natasha said. “I kind of wish I applied for it.”

“I taught myself a lot about engineering when I made this freezing machine,” Donnie revealed. “Apparently it’s really hard to replicate.”

“That sounds cool. You have any other ongoing projects?”

Donnie hesitated. He hadn’t talked much with Natasha before, but she seemed to be genuinely curious about his work. When he was younger, his parents had always doubted his abilities. He decided it wouldn’t do any harm to open up more, especially to an attractive classmate.

“Not really, I’m focusing more on school now,” Donnie shrugged. “Maybe during the winter break when there’s more time. I don’t really know what I want to do.”

“Like, what you want to do with the materials you have?” Natasha asked coolly. 

“Yeah, I guess. I have some substance that was used a long time ago.”

Natasha smiled at Donnie sweetly. “Well, maybe later we can work on something together?” 

“Eh, maybe.”

_Bingo._

Donnie stared at Natasha before looking down at his screen. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but like, how many years has it been since you were in high school?”

“Not offended at all,” Natasha laughed. “I took a gap year then switched majors. A couple other people from the class asked me that as well. I know my situation is a bit weird.”

“I’ve seen people way older in some of my other classes, it’s pretty normal. Kind of cool talking to people like you or others who decided to go back to school because a lot of people my age are stupid.”

\----------------------------------------

Maria stood at the front of the lecture hall watching the invigilators stroll back and forth in the aisles. An hour had passed and only a handful of students had finished their exams. 

“One hour remaining.”

She saw Donnie stand up and make his way down to the front. 

“Here, Professor Hill.” 

Maria glanced at the name on the sheet before calling him back. “Donnie, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Sure, Professor.”

“I couldn’t help to notice that the first assignment seemed too easy for you. And from looking at the first page of this test, I can tell you got all the questions correct.”

“I really like computer science. I was thinking next semester I would take a couple upper year courses.”

Maria crossed her arms. “My office hours are Thursday. Why don’t you come by and we can chat about an alternative second project?”

“I’m not sure if Thursday works. Can I email you to set up an appointment on a different day?”

“Yes, no problem.”

\----------------------------------------

The second time Natasha went to Maria’s office hours was at the end of October. 

“Hi, this a bad time?”

Maria rubbed her eyes and closed her laptop. “No, I’m here for another hour, come in.”

“I just want to apologize for that incident in class a couple weeks ago where I was texting,” Natasha said. She knew it was a pretty lame excuse to see Maria but at least it was something.

“All water under the bridge now,” Maria waved off. “I was stressed and shouldn’t have taken it out on the class.”

“How many other classes are you teaching this semester?” Natasha asked curiously.

“This is my only one. As a new prof, there’s a lot of pressure to preform well as it will eventually affect whether my contract gets extended.” 

“That’s fair. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job so far.” 

Maria smiled. “Thanks, that’s good to hear.”

“There are always a bunch of lazy people in every program who do the bare minimum to pass. So don’t worry about the grades they get or anything like that.”

“Definitely. I know there are a lot of intelligent students in the class too. Some are really challenging me as a professor.”

“How so?” Natasha questioned. 

“Oh, like for some, I know they’re finding the material too easy. I’ll probably create another part to the next assignment that anyone can do for extra marks.”

Maria’s phone vibrated on the table and the name “Steve” popped up on the screen. She rejected the call and flipped the phone over. “Sorry about that.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Partner?” 

Maria chuckled. She would have to tell Steve about this later. “Just a friend.”

“That’s what they all say at first,” Natasha blurted out before realizing this was dangerous territory – she knew she was probably crossing many student-professor boundaries. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Maria smirked. 

“I don’t know, like you know all those movies where the girl says they’re just friends with a guy but then they end up together,” Natasha tried. 

“I know those movies. Guys aren’t really my thing, though.”

Natasha’s jaw dropped. “Oh, sorry, what I said a minute ago was stupid.”

Maria stood up and closed her door. She didn’t know what was causing her act like this, but somehow Natasha was able to break her walls down. That, and the fact that there were only two months left in the mission. 

“Natasha, we need to have a serious conversation right now.”

“Yeah.”

Maria ran her fingers through her bangs and sighed. “Please tell me if I’m reading this wrong –"

“Yes, I’m attracted to you.”

“I like you too. I don’t know what to do though, everything is moving way too fast and I still don’t know you well.”

Natasha placed her hand on Maria’s. 

“Go out with me,” Natasha said. “Just one night.” 

This mission was completely fucked.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot of different things going on in this story, but to keep track of everything, each chapter starts as a new month (the further down in a chapter something happens, the later in the month it's happening)

**November 2017**

Natasha knew she had to contact HYDRA. It had been a week since she had last called Garrett, who, as usual, was impatient with Natasha’s progress. She would do anything for him, as he had always been there for Natasha, especially during her darkest times. 

She picked up her phone and tapped his name. 

“Romanoff, about time.”

“I’m getting somewhere. Donnie told me about the serum and he knew exactly what it was when he found it. I think he trusts me with that information. I still got a month and three weeks.”

“Great work. Do not let a single drop of the serum leave that vial.”

“Understood.”

\----------------------------------------

Maria paced around the boardroom, waiting for Coulson so she could update him on the mission.

“Maria, how did it go with him?”

“Fine, I gave him a harder assignment and talked with him about his own personal projects for a bit. He never mentioned the serum and I wasn’t going to ambush him about it. I told him to be careful with who he talks to because they could easily take advantage of his skills and use him.” 

Coulson scratched his head. “Did he seem suspicious when you said that?” 

“No, didn’t seem like it.”

“This kid is tough to crack. Maybe it would’ve been easier if you went undercover as a student.”

“Phil, I’m 30. Besides, he barely talks to anyone – I can’t imagine him talking to a 30-year-old student.”

“Speaking of which,” Coulson began, “I hope that crush of yours isn’t interfering with any of this.”

“No, it’s not.”

\----------------------------------------

Maria wanted to pick Natasha up from her apartment but she knew the redhead was right – being seen with a professor on the weekend would not be a good look. 

Maria agreed to meet Natasha at a bar on the Lower East Side, far away from the campus. For a Saturday night, the bar was surprisingly empty. She turned to the TV and saw that the New York Rangers were facing the Florida Panthers.

_That explains it. No one wants to see Florida play._

The door opened and Natasha walked in wearing a long gray peacoat. She found the table Maria was at and put her arm out awkwardly for a hug. Maria embraced her quickly then sat back down. 

“Sorry, I don’t really know what that was, I wasn’t really sure how to greet you,” Natasha said, putting her coat on the back of the chair. 

“It’s fine, let’s forget about school right now. We’re just two adults enjoying the night.” 

Natasha grinned. “I like that.”

Maria stood up. “Okay, so what would you like to drink?”

“Can you get me a couple beers?”

“I’ll get a pitcher.”

Natasha took the time to check her phone and she saw a new text from Donnie.

`Study session on Monday next week right`

`Yes, same spot`

“Hey, here you go,” Maria said putting a glass down in front of Natasha.

“Thanks. Nothing better than a cold beer on a cold day.”

“Cheers to that.”

The conversation they had over the course of the evening was the easiest and most natural one Maria ever had. Nothing felt forced and she had gotten Natasha to laugh multiple times. Maria decided that was her new favorite sound.

Maria bought another pitcher and poured a third glass for herself and Natasha. 

“Imagine if we had met under different circumstances,” Maria wondered. 

“Yeah.” Natasha was angry at herself – she never bothered with relationships. Yet here she was, on a mission that would be ending soon, falling for a woman who would never know Natasha’s true identity. 

“It’s frustrating, but we can make it work.”

Natasha stared at the woman across from her with glossy eyes. “There’s not going to be a happy ending here.”

“Why can’t there be?” Maria pleaded. 

“It’s too complicated. _I am_ too complicated,” Natasha said, her voice straining. 

Maria looked at the ground, feeling defeated. “You know what, I think this night calls for shots.”

“Most definitely.” Natasha took her jacket and led Maria to the bar.

“Hey ladies, what can I get’cha?” the bartender asked.

“Two shots of whiskey, no preference,” Natasha replied, sliding him 15 dollars. 

“Both for you?” Maria joked.

“No, but I paid, my choice,” Natasha winked. “Thank you,” she told the bartender. 

They took their shots and Maria chased it with the water he had put out for them.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done that,” Maria said, taking another sip of water.

“Clearly.”

They left the bar and stood in the chilly November air deciding what to do next.

“Come home with me,” Natasha said, putting her hands on Maria’s shoulders. She leaned in and gave Maria a peck on the lips.

“I – uh – I think you’re letting the alcohol talk for you.”

“I never let it get to me. Let’s live a little.”

Maria’s felt like her brain was short circuiting. This was _not_ part of the mission – and it was more dangerous than any other screwup she could imagine. Coulson would probably kill her if she didn’t come back to SHIELD. 

“I thought you didn’t want to me to be seen by your apartment?”

“Fuck that,” Natasha breathed out as she kissed Maria hard. Maria returned the kiss, tugging Natasha closer. 

Suffice to say, that night was the best sex Maria ever had. 

\----------------------------------------

Donnie was already at the library when Natasha got there.

“Hey Natasha, how was your weekend?”

“Pretty low key. I finished the database project and studied for the quiz.” This was true – Natasha had studied on _Sunday._

“Nice, I’m done it too. Professor Hill gave me a bunch of extra questions.”

Natasha shuddered at the name. “Oh cool. So, can we review the data structures lecture?”

“Sure.”

Natasha truly tried to focus for the next half hour, but she couldn’t get Saturday night out of her head. She imagined what it would be like to be a regular New Yorker and a future with Maria – morning walks along the High Line, picnics at Battery Park, doing all the touristy things…

 _It’s impossible that any of that will ever happen._

“Natasha, I’m done the review questions.”

“Already? I’m stuck on a couple of them.”

“I’ll help you.”

Natasha smiled at Donnie. “Thanks. You’re honestly the smartest person I’ve ever met.”

Donnie scoffed. “I just like learning.” 

“Do you ever feel like your potential is being wasted being in school and all?” 

“I don’t know,” Donnie shrugged, “Maybe it is.”

“All universities want is money,” Natasha stated. “Ivy or state school, it’s no different. All they care about is profit.”

“I know, it’s ridiculous when you think about it. My tuition would have been around twenty thousand if it wasn’t for the scholarship.”

“Have you ever thought about what it would be like to create things elsewhere? Alongside some of the smartest people in the world and truly make a difference?”

Donnie put his laptop in his bag and crossed his arms. “Like if I weren’t in school?” 

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Of course I do. Who wouldn’t want that?”

“Right? I, uh, might have told a couple people about you and it seems like they want to meet you.”

“Who?”

“Just some friends. They graduated from MIT last year,” Natasha said casually. 

“Oh sweet, yeah I’d be up for that. I have to go now but I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”

Donnie left and Natasha sat at the table, stunned. 

_Well, that was fucking easy._

She called Garrett and he picked up on the second ring. “Hey Garrett…yes, I did. Final exams are pretty soon, then HYDRA is in the clear to come to Manhattan. SHIELD won’t have a fucking clue.”

\----------------------------------------

Maria was marking the last quizzes in her office when Coulson came in.

“I still can’t believe you slept with her. Jesus, Maria.”

Maria threw her head back and looked at the ceiling. “I know, I know. I got the lecture from you already.”

“Just remember you have a job to do.”

“I know, Phil. I haven’t talked to her since.”

He left and Maria let out a loud sigh. The semester was coming to a close and she hadn’t made much progress with Donnie. On top of that, the agent HYDRA had sent was clearly experienced and Maria had absolutely no clue who they were, or if they were even in her class. 

_For all I know, it’s probably one of those old white professors._

If she failed this mission, she wondered if Coulson would actually fire her from SHIELD. He probably didn’t have the clearance to. 

\----------------------------------------

“Okay, listen up. I haven’t gone over the final exam yet, which is on December 15th at 3 pm in this room, so today we're going to do review,” Maria announced to the class. She glanced at Natasha, who was sitting in the back row as usual, before continuing. 

“Remember, it’s worth 20% of your grade. I haven’t finished writing it yet, however it will all be multiple choice. Eighty questions.” 

Maria spent the next two hours reviewing key topics, week by week. She ended the class and saw Natasha coming down the stairs.

“Ms. Romanoff, I’d like to speak to you.”

Natasha knew this was coming. She hadn’t made any attempt to contact Maria since they had hooked up, but it was because she would be going to back to reality soon and didn’t want either of them to be heartbroken.

“Professor Hill.” Everyone else had left the lecture hall.

“I don’t even know how to start this. Is there really no way we can make this work?”

Natasha swallowed. “No. I can’t. I’m so, so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to make this a cliffhanger :(


	5. Five

**December 2017**

Coulson called a team meeting and Maria thought she was screwed. 

“Personal issues aside, this mission has seriously been the most frustrating one we’ve ever had,” Coulson said. “I don’t know why that is, but I want to thank everyone for their hard work these past few months. I know we’ll figure it out.”

May stood up. “Our priorities are changing. We don’t think Donnie has done anything with the serum yet, but we do know that HYDRA is after it and will likely harm the kid to get it. I want everyone on this team to focus their attention on tracking whatever HYDRA agent is interfering and bring them in for questioning. Dismissed.”

Maria sauntered back to her office and Skye followed her. 

“Hey Skye.”

Skye leaned against Maria’s door. “So, what’s happening with you and that girl?”

“I don’t know, it was just a one-time thing.”

“Aw, I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I can make you a Tinder profile if you want? I guarantee everyone would swipe right on you.”

Maria laughed. “I’m okay for now.”

\----------------------------------------

The last time Natasha went to Maria’s office was a day after the final exam. It was 5:30 pm and Natasha didn’t know if Maria would be there since it wasn’t Thursday. 

She was relieved when she saw Maria packing her bag. 

“Hey, sorry if this is a bad time – were you leaving?”

Maria looked up. Natasha was wearing her peacoat over a purple NYU hoodie. Her cheeks were slightly red from the cold air and Maria thought she looked gorgeous. 

“Uh, I was about to. I can stay a bit longer if there was something you wanted to talk about? I, uh, wasn’t expecting to see you.” 

“Yeah, I just have a couple things on my mind.”

“Come in and close the door.”

“I thought professors had an open-door policy,” Natasha teased. 

“They all went home. What’s up?”

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Natasha admitted. “I just have a lot of personal things happening in my life right now and I can’t abandon that. That sounded kind of selfish, I know, but – “

“I completely understand, no hard feelings,” Maria said, cutting Natasha off. “So…is this the last time I’ll see you?”

“I don’t have an answer to that right now.” _Maybe HYDRA would send her back to New York in the future._

“Come here,” Maria husked. She knew it was a bad idea and would come back to bite her, but she needed to feel Natasha one more time.

Natasha climbed onto Maria’s lap, adjusting herself into a comfortable position. She kissed Maria’s cheek and took her own hoodie off. “You’re sure you want to do this here?”

“No one’s here. I just want to be close to you.”

\----------------------------------------

Natasha texted Donnie the location of an old HYDRA base in Brooklyn. 

`Two days from now at noon. The guys are excited to meet you.`

She called Garrett and he picked up on the first ring.

“We good, Romanoff?”

“Yes, let me know when you land in New York. Bring Ward, Sitwell, and Rumlow.”

“And Garrett?” Natasha added. “What are going to do with the kid?”

“I want the serum and then I want him _dead_ ,” Garrett spat.

“That was not the plan,” Natasha argued. 

“I never wanted him in HYDRA, he’d be useless to us. All we need is the serum.”

Natasha felt a pang in her chest. She had gotten to know Donnie well over the past two months and thought he was a really good kid. Never once did she feel threatened around him or think that he was going to kill her. 

Something wasn’t sitting right with Natasha. Sure, she had killed many people before, but only people who were genuinely evil. Donnie had never done anything wrong.

Deep down, Natasha knew she had to stand up to Garrett or she would feel guilty for the rest of her life. 

“And what if I don’t bring him to you?”

“What the hell do you mean?”

“You heard me.” She could practically see his rage through the phone. 

“You want me to kill you too? I’d kick your ass out of HYDRA.”

“I see.” _Would saving Donnie be worth the risk?_

“Romanoff, don’t do this. We’re the only fucking family you’ve ever known. You won’t survive by yourself.”

Natasha closed her eyes and hung up. That stung. 

\----------------------------------------

“Hey, thanks for meeting me here a day early. Sorry I had to change the spot.”

“No problem, Central Park is better anyway. Brooklyn was a bit far from me.”

Natasha took a deep breath. “I need to talk to you, and you need to believe every word I say.”

“Where are your friends?”

“Donnie, do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

 _Here goes nothing._ “I’m HYDRA. Well, not anymore...”

Donnie looked like he saw a ghost and moved away from Natasha. “W-what do you mean?”

Natasha winced. “Don’t freeze me please, I can explain. HYDRA knows you found the last tube of the super soldier serum in Germany – we’ve been after it for months, and I’ve been undercover this whole time.”

“So you’ve been lying to my face,” Donnie grit. 

“Yes, and now I’m telling you the whole truth. To _protect_ you,” Natasha choked out.

“I really thought I could trust you. Obviously, I was fucking wrong! You pretended to be my friend all so you could get this.” He reached into his pocket and held the vial of blue liquid in front of Natasha’s face.

“Donnie, I – I’m sorry, but I’m trying to help you. Some very _dangerous_ people are after that as we speak. You need to give it to me or else they will kill you. Please believe me.” 

Donnie bit his lip until it began to bleed. “I _do_ believe you,” he hissed. “I don’t care what happens.”

Natasha’s heart broke hearing him say that. “What will it take for you to give me the serum?”

“You know what – fine.” He shoved it into Natasha’s hand. “I just want everything to be normal.”

“Everything _will_ be normal,” Natasha promised. “As long as you don’t have it, you won’t be harmed. I hope you can still trust me when I say that.”

“I can.” Donnie gave Natasha one last stare before walking away.

Natasha put her head in her hands and let out a muffled scream. She didn’t know where she would go now, but she knew she had to leave New York immediately. She sent a message to Garrett before dropping her phone in the snow and smashing it to pieces with her heel. 

`I have it and I’m out`

\----------------------------------------

Maria had just gotten the results back from the final exam. She went over the scores to see the distribution and scrolled down the page until she found the ‘R’ last names. 

`Robinson, Daniel: 85% Romanov, Natasha: 95% Roy, Paul: 75%`

_Holy shit._

Maria would do anything for even another conversation with her. 

“How did they do?” Skye asked from across the table. 

“Class average of 70%. Much better than I expected. Some did exceptionally well.”

“Did she do well?” 

Maria knew Skye was referring to Natasha. 

“95.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey,” Skye said. “It’s almost New Years Eve, try and forget about all this. Turn over a new leaf. I can still make you a Tinder account...”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shits going to hit the fan pretty soon
> 
> Things will get better, though (...or will they?)


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Time jump*

**3 Years Later**

**[Location: New York City]**

**December 2020**

Maria was walking with Steve and Tony along Amsterdam Avenue on the Upper West Side when she stopped in front of a bakery window. They had the day off and decided to take the time to walk around Manhattan.

“This bakery is run by a friend of mine, you boys up for a snack?”

“You know I am,” Steve said.

Maria pushed the door open and the trio was greeted with the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies. 

“Hey Hope, how’s it going?”

“Maria, good to see you!”

“This is Steve and Tony,” Maria said, introducing them to Hope. “We were in the neighbourhood and figured we’d stop by. Could I get my usual?”

Hope looked apologetic and pointed to the display of pastries. “Sorry girl, a friend was here earlier this morning and bought all of the lemon squares that were in the tray.”

“God damnit,” Maria muttered.

“Hill, it’s just a lemon square,” Steve laughed. 

“You really sold them all?”

Hope shrugged. “Usually I wouldn’t sell the whole tray but she’s a friend.”

“I guess you’re not the only one in Manhattan who likes them,” Tony said, punching Maria’s shoulder lightly.

“What did she look like? Which direction was she walking?”

“Maria, really,” Hope chuckled. “It’s not like you can track her down and take them. I’m baking more tomorrow.”

“Alright, alright, Rogers, Stark, what do you want to order?”

\----------------------------------------

Maria was in her office when she got a message from Fury.

`See me in my office now. It’s important`

Maria was puzzled. This was something Fury usually said whenever there was going to be an administrative change or if a new member was being added to the team. She didn’t think either was necessary at this point.

“Hi sir, what is it?” Maria asked cautiously, taking a seat in front of him. 

“We’ll start in a minute when she comes back.” Before Maria could ask about who he was referring to, Fury pushed a plastic container towards Maria and took off the lid. “Have one.”

Maria picked a lemon square up and eyed it suspiciously. _These are from Hope’s bakery…and Fury never eat sweets._

Something weird was happening and Maria did not like it. 

Suddenly, she heard a voice she would recognize anywhere – a voice that made her heart beat faster, a voice she could listen to all day, and a voice she thought she’d never hear again. 

_This is not real._

“Fury, I’m ready to meet…” Natasha walked into his office and came face to face with Maria. “…her.”


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama in this chapter, it's a continuation of the previous one
> 
> There's going to be one more chapter after this!

**Continued**

Maria’s mouth went dry. She felt like she had just been hit by a car. Pushed off the tallest building in Manhattan. Had a million needles pressed into her skin. _Wake me up from this dream._

“Hill, meet Natasha Romanoff,” Fury said. “Natasha, this is Deputy Director Maria Hill.”

Maria nodded. _Don’t run out now, you need to be mature about this._

Natasha remained emotionless behind Fury and mouthed something to Maria. 

_“I’m so, so, sorry for what’s coming.”_

Maria didn’t know what to expect, but it was certainly not what Fury said next. 

“Anyway, Natasha will be joining the Avengers, working mainly with Barton, Rogers, Stark, and Banner. I have been following her every move since her flawless execution on the Donnie Gill Super Soldier Serum mission. She played SHIELD like a damn fiddle.”

Maria furrowed her brow. _Oh, right, Fury wasn’t involved with that mission because he was in Washington. Does that mean he doesn’t know it was me who went undercover?_

“Natasha was a HYDRA agent under John Garrett’s team,” Fury continued. “She went undercover as a university student and managed to get the serum from Gill. When she found out that Garrett wanted to kill the boy, she left her past behind and went rogue. She is _not_ affiliated with HYDRA anymore.”

_So this was the agent HYDRA sent._

Maria felt betrayed, enraged, confused, and sad. But deep down, glad that Natasha was in her life again.

“She was a fucking _what?”_

“Romanoff was part of HYDRA, she’s not anymore,” Fury repeated calmly. 

Maria couldn’t comprehend anything Fury was saying. There was no way SHIELD could be 100% certain that Natasha had left HYDRA.

Maria glared at both of them before leaving and slamming the door.

\----------------------------------------

Over the next week, Maria avoided Natasha as much as she could. She barely spoke to anyone and stayed in her quarters. Oddly enough, it seemed like Natasha was moving on just fine, getting along with everyone at SHIELD. 

_What a shitshow this whole thing is._

Maria still had feelings for Natasha, and if anything, they were stronger than before. But she couldn’t get past all the lies – how effortless it was for Natasha to disguise the fact that she was working for an evil, vile, heinous organization. Did she still believe in their values? Did she _ever_ believe in them? 

Maria went to Skye’s room, knowing she could talk to the younger girl about anything.

“This sucks so much,” Skye said. “It seems like you guys would have been great together if you had met in a different way.”

“I know. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this point.”

“I still can’t believe she was part of HYDRA. I’ve been talking to her a bit though, and she’s an amazing addition to the team.”

“I’m sure she is. You saw how flawless her mission was,” Maria said flippantly. 

“Okay look, I’m going to be serious here and you can agree with me or not. Give her another chance and talk to her – she’s probably just as afraid to confront you. It’s almost a new year. Start over.”

“It’s not that easy, Skye.”

“Do it for me, I hate seeing you like this.”

\----------------------------------------

Maria delayed another week before deciding to speak to Natasha. She locked her office door, put her hair back up in a bun and went to Natasha’s quarters.

“It’s me,” Maria called out from the other side of the door. She tapped her foot on the ground and took a deep breath. 

Natasha opened the door and Maria was surprised to see her in a tight black dress and her hair straightened. Natasha was wearing heels and because of that they were nearly the same height.

“Hey.”

Maria had never been more attracted to Natasha. She looked beautiful. 

“Uh, are you, um, headed somewhere?”

“Meeting someone.”

Maria’s heart sank. Hearing Natasha say that was somehow worse than any lie either of them had told.

“Oh.”

“Did you need something from me?” Natasha asked, grabbing her purse and jacket.

Maria tensed. There was a bite to Natasha’s tone.

 _Well, it’s now or never._ “Cancel it.”

“Excuse me?”

“Cancel the date. Stay and talk with me. Please,” Maria begged. “I know I have no right to tell you what to do, but I haven’t been able to sleep or do anything. I can’t leave things like this, especially now that we’re working together.”

Natasha let out an exasperated sigh, conflicted about what to do. She had always made decisions with her head – with HYDRA, no one showed emotions and every decision was logical. But Natasha had to remind herself she wasn’t with them anymore. She hadn’t left for the date yet, so clearly something was holding her back. In a split-second decision, she decided to go with her heart and hung her coat up.

“Come in,” Natasha huffed, taking a seat at her desk.

“Really?”

“Don’t make me change my mind, Hill.”

Maria closed the door and sat at the left end of Natasha’s couch, closest to the door. “So that was a fucking lie,” Maria said curtly, not referring to anything in particular.

“Do you want me to leave now or…?”

“No, sorry, that just came out of nowhere, I’m frustrated.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes. “It’s not like you were telling the truth either,” she shot back. 

“Were any facts you told me true?”

“No. I’m 30, lived with HYDRA for most of my life, and I don’t have any college education. HYDRA _was_ basically my only family.”

Maria gulped. There was definitely more that she had lied about than Natasha.

“You’re not even a real professor,” Natasha stated coldly.

“Well not anymore technically – no, I’m not. But I got the job with no external inference or PhD. Actually, I don’t know, I have no idea if the men who interviewed me were manipulated in any way. I have a bachelor’s and master’s although not in computer science and not from UPenn or Berkeley. I grew up in Chicago and have lived at the SHIELD HQ since I got the job.” 

“How old are you?”

“33.” 

Natasha felt a wave of relief wash over her, that they were close in age. This made their relationship (or whatever it was) back then feel less illegal. She snapped out of her thought and returned to the argument. 

“You tricked 400 students and an entire department into thinking you were an expert at something you’re not. And that you got your degrees at prestigious schools, no less.”

“When you put it like that, it sounds kind of impressive.” Maria saw Natasha’s glare and knew she should have kept her mouth shut.

“Nothing I taught you was inherently wrong. I may not have a degree in computer science, but I know a lot about it. Obviously the interviewers thought my knowledge was enough. It’s easy enough to teach simple concepts to first-years.” 

“It’s fucking _fraud _.”__

____

Maria felt like she could cry out of pure anger.

__

“It seems like you tricked Donnie into thinking he had a real friend.” _Two can play this game._

__

Natasha let out a dry laugh. “Okay, I see how it is. Fuck you.”

__

“How many people have you killed? And that’s on purpose, not in self defense."

__

“Maria, you don’t want to do this.”

__

“Yes, actually I do – SHIELD has a fucking _murderer_ as part of the team now, so sorry if I’m concerned about my safety and the safety of my friends.” Maria knew she probably took that took far, but at this point both of them were so heated she didn’t care.

__

Natasha knew she had to lowball the number. “Fine, around forty. Forty despicable people. This is what HYDRA _makes_ you do,” Natasha seethed. “It’s not like I ever had a _choice_ to spare anyone’s life.”

__

“I’m not that person anymore,” she added quietly. “I don’t know if you’ll ever believe me, but that’s the truth.”

__

“Tell me this, Natasha – was anything between us real? Or were you using me to distract me from Donnie?”

__

“I swear on my life, I had absolutely no idea you were undercover and after the serum too. And yes, my feelings towards you were real. Every kiss, every time you made me scream – I wasn’t faking any of it.”

__

They sat in a tense, uneasy silence before Natasha spoke. “It’s clear to me now, don’t you see arguing about this has been absolutely pointless? How could either of us have known we were after the same thing? We did what had to be done, and I know damn well that’s what Coulson told you, too. Both of our missions were about _lying_ , for Christ’s sake. No mission is complete if there isn’t lying involved.”

__

Maria shifted uneasily on the couch and crossed her legs. “You make a good point, we were both in the wrong. Although feelings were never supposed to be involved.”

__

“You think I didn’t realize that? I did warn you – at least twice – that there wasn’t going to be a happy ending.”

__

“I know, and I was stupid enough to believe that what you said wasn’t going to be true.”

__

Natasha spun around slowly in her office chair and bit her lip. “It wasn’t stupid. I was thinking that too. But I knew I had to leave after the semester was over.”

__

“When we fucked in my office you were the one who initiated it. Why do that if you were going to leave?”

__

Natasha clenched her fist. “Okay now, you know that was completely mutual. Don’t put the blame on me.”

__

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just want to know one thing – you said your feelings towards me _were_ real. What changed?”

__

“A lot can change in three years,” Natasha said wistfully, staring into Maria’s blue eyes. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you again. Sometimes it’s easier to forget and move on. Isn’t that what people are supposed to do?”

__

Maria stared at the floor, knowing Natasha was right. It was unrealistic to assume Natasha still felt the same way, especially since they weren’t even exclusive during their brief fling.

__

_Of course Natasha’s moved on, it’s been three years. She can do what she wants. If anyone needs to move on, it’s me._

__

“Is that what you did?” Maria braced herself for Natasha’s response.

__

“Move on? I tried.”

__

“Ah.”

__

“Nothing has changed, Maria. My feelings never went away.”

__

“The date you had planned seemed to indicate otherwise.”

__

“It was stupid, she doesn’t matter to me.”

__

“Harsh, I kind of feel for the girl.”

__

Natasha rolled her eyes and went join Maria on the couch. “She probably found someone else by now.”

__

“I still like you too, by the way.”

__

“Okay.” Natasha smiled.

__

“So where have you been for the past few years?”

__

“I left the country for two and came back to the States when Fury contacted me about a new job. I’ve been in touch with him for a while now.”

__

It didn’t take long for Maria to put the pieces together. “You’ve been in New York for the past year?”

__

“Yes, but don’t think about that. What matters is that we’re both here now.” 

__

Maria moved in and pulled Natasha closer for a hug. “Is this alright? I missed this.”

__

“So did I,” Natasha mumbled into Maria’s neck.

__

“You look beautiful tonight.”

__

__Natasha blushed and tightened her grip around Maria’s waist. “Stop.”_ _

__

__“I’m never going to stop saying that.”_ _

__

__“You’re not bad either.”_ _

__

__“Gee, thanks,” Maria laughed, knowing Natasha wasn’t one to use flowery words and that was the best Maria would get._ _

__

__Natasha gave Maria a peck on the cheek before placing her head on Maria’s chest._ _

__

__That’s when they knew everything would be okay._ _

__

__\----------------------------------------_ _

__

__Maria woke up first and realized they had fallen asleep after their argument, with Natasha still resting on her chest. She ran her fingers through Natasha’s hair which seemed to wake her up._ _

__

__“Oh, sorry I fell asleep on you.”_ _

__

__“No worries. Listen, I know we’re good now, but I want to apologize for some of my comments yesterday. I was way out of line and didn’t mean any of them.”_ _

__

__“I know you didn’t. I’m sorry about what I said too and for all the swearing. We were both upset.”_ _

__

__“I think I reacted like that out of shock. There’s a lot to process right now and seeing you brought back everything I had been trying to get over. The first few months after you left were really hard.”_ _

__

__“More than anything I wanted to go back to New York and find you,” Natasha admitted. “But HYDRA was on my tail and it would have been impossible to stay.”_ _

__

__“Where exactly did you go?” Maria asked softly._ _

__

A place I knew they’d _never_ search because they knew I hated it.”

__

__Maria saw the pain in Natasha’s eyes. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”_ _

__

__“Home.”_ _

__

__“Where was that?”_ _

__

“Volgograd. Formerly Stalingrad.”

Maria placed a soft kiss on Natasha’s forehead. “New York is your home now. And so is SHIELD.”

__

__“You want to know something?” Maria asked, changing the subject._ _

__

__“Yeah.”_ _

__

__“You got 95 on the final exam.”_ _

__

__“No way, I didn’t.”_ _

__

__“I’m impressed that you actually studied.”_ _

__

__“I never studied. I had a good teacher,” Natasha winked. “So, I want to ask you – when did you know the mission was fucked?”_ _

__

__“I mean, I never really did.” Maria knew Natasha wasn’t going to buy that._ _

__

__“Well you must have, since you didn’t end up with the serum.”_ _

__

__Maria sighed. “You mean from SHIELDs point of view? Or I guess mine?”_ _

__

__“Mhm.”_ _

__

__“I knew as soon as I saw you in class.”_ _

__

__\----------------------------------------_ _

__

__Fury had finally connected the dots and called Maria and Natasha to his office._ _

__

Hill, you know Romanoff basically saved your ass from Coulson firing you three years ago.” Maria felt Natasha squeeze her thigh under the table as if she was saying _“you’re welcome.”_

__

__“When did you realize it was me who went undercover for SHIELD?”_ _

__

__“When I told you that Romanoff was HYDRA. Your reaction said it all.”_ _

__

__“Right.”_ _

__

__“I didn’t know it was you specifically because I wasn’t involved in the mission,” Fury explained. “Everything went through Coulson but when Romanoff got the serum I began to track it myself. After she escaped from New York, I told Coulson SHIELD could back down. I found her, and the rest is history.”_ _

__

__“Really, would Coulson have actually let me go from SHIELD, though? I was kind of up for a promotion at the time.” He had always been one of Maria’s closest friends._ _

__

“Nah – well maybe if Garrett actually got the serum and created his own super soldier. Hill, you got a Russian woman – fluent in Russian might I add – to make you believe that she grew up in Philadelphia,” Fury said bluntly.

Natasha leaned into Maria. “I bet you didn’t realize my last name was spelled “Romanov” on the class list,” she whispered. “HYDRA messed that one up by not submitting the Americanized version.”

__

__Maria tried to remember what Natasha had said when they first met._ _

__

_“Hi Professor Hill, I’m Natasha Romanoff…” Ah yes, Natasha had definitely introduced herself as Roman-off, not Roman-ov. She had written it as Romanoff on her assignments as well._

__

__“Point taken, I should have been more observant…you still promoted me to Director though,” Maria said to Fury._ _

__

__“That was before I found out about everything,” Fury stated, shaking his head. “Anyway, I just need to block that mission from my memory.”_ _

__


	8. Eight

**January 2021**

Over the next few weeks, Maria and Natasha took their relationship slow, their only form of intimacy being quick kisses and cuddling. Even though they were on good terms, Maria was still harbouring a sliver of doubt. She knew it sounded ridiculous, but she thought there was still a chance Natasha hadn’t left HYDRA and was infiltrating SHIELD for her new mission. 

More than anything, Maria was afraid of another heartbreak. Natasha coming back into her life was more emotional than she could have ever imagined. Every time they kissed Maria couldn’t help but think about their time three years ago. 

They were hanging out in Maria’s room, lounging on the bed, when Natasha spoke.

“We should take a few days off and go somewhere.” 

Maria looked up from her phone. “Agreed. Did you have any place in mind?”

“Apparently Philadelphia is pretty interesting. Two-hour drive.”

“Oh my god,” Maria laughed. “I still can’t believe you said you were from there and haven’t even been.”

“In my defense…well, one of the other HYDRA agents chose the city for me,” Natasha drawled out.

“Okay, how about next weekend?”

Natasha leaned in and took Maria’s hand. “Sounds perfect.”

A comfortable silence was drawn over them but Maria knew she had to break it – she still had a lot on her mind.

Natasha sat up and leaned against the headboard, pulling a blanket over her knees. “What are you thinking about?”

“Oh, uh, nothing much. I was just wondering if it was you who brought Fury those lemon squares on the day we saw each other again.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know he avoided sugar.” 

Maria moved up to sit beside Natasha. “What bakery did you get them from?” she asked casually.

“It’s on the Upper West Side, owned by a friend. She happened to be one of the first people I met when I moved to Manhattan last year.”

Maria stiffened. There were many bakeries in that area, but was it possible…

“Her name is Hope van Dyne,” Natasha added. “I feel like you two would be good friends.”

Maria burst out laughing and slapped Natasha’s knee. “This is hilarious. Hope is a good friend of mine and when I went to the bakery that morning, she had sold all the lemon squares to one of her friends.”

“What a small world,” Natasha grinned. “And what a day that turned out to be.”

“I know, right. Hey Nat?”

“Mhm.”

“On a more serious note, there’s something else I want to talk about.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Natasha responded immediately.

“No, no, everything’s fine,” Maria assured her. “It’s just – I don’t know how to word it, but I still have this lingering doubt…about you…”

Natasha leaned against Maria’s shoulder and sighed. On the one hand, Natasha wondered whether Maria would ever be able to fully trust her, but on the other, she knew it was a valid concern. 

“I would have nothing to gain from HYDRA,” Natasha said simply. 

Maria stayed silent as if she were expecting more. 

“But here, I have everything to gain. I have this job, real friends, a girlfriend – shit, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean I did, but I haven’t asked you or you haven’t asked me, so if you don’t want to label it that’s fine – ”

Maria couldn’t help but chuckle at Natasha’s rambling. _Real HYDRA agents probably wouldn’t fall apart like this._

“It’s okay,” Maria said as she wrapped her arm around Natasha’s waist. “Let me ask you then – Natasha, will you be my girlfriend?”

“I kind of said I was already, so…”

Maria smiled and shook her head. She hadn’t expected any other response. 

“Of course that’s what you say.” Maria pulled Natasha in for a kiss and slid her hands up Natasha’s body. 

“I missed this the most,” Natasha murmured.

Maria took Natasha’s t-shirt off and was about to unclasp her bra when Natasha stopped her. 

“Just a second, weren’t we going to take it slow?”

Maria rolled her eyes. “We’ve waited three years, I think it’s been long enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I may write more blackhill in the future but things are getting busy now so I'll see :)


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